


Let Me Begin Again

by fandom_life_forever



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Basically it's all pain, But could be hopeful?, But right now it's very sad, Character Death, Established Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Hurt, Hurt Derek Hale, Hurt Stiles Stilinski, If the author decides she wants to write more, M/M, Marriage, Possible Temporary Character Death?, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:14:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22101643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_life_forever/pseuds/fandom_life_forever
Summary: The day of the wedding.The day of pure joy.The day of eternal happiness.Stiles and Derek are getting married and it should be the best day of their lives, but when the most unexpected and horrific thing imaginable happens, the shockwaves will reverberate throughout Derek, the McCall pack and Beacon Hills forever.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 4
Kudos: 65





	Let Me Begin Again

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! 
> 
> I know I've been away for a long time, but I'm back and I hope you enjoy this piece of work. I do have ideas for more chapters for this, but right now I'm going to leave this as a singular piece of work until I have the time and motivation to finish it. I also want to know if you guys like it and want more, and that will probably influence my decision as well. 
> 
> Also, in regards to A Red Pen, I do have plans to finish it, because I hate the thought of leaving it half finished, so I will get round to it at some point, but this past year has been a lot for me, lots of ups and downs and I haven't really had the inclination to start writing again until now. But fingers crossed, I'll be able to finish it soon.
> 
> But thank you all for everything and I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year!
> 
> Enjoy!

Derek fiddles with his tie.

It isn’t constricting and it isn’t loose, it’s perfect, but Derek can’t stop touching it, thinking it needs to be moved from the left to the right, from up to down. He knows it is because he is nervous, probably more nervous than he has ever been before, which is truly saying something if a comprehensive overview of his life is ever to be revealed. Frankly, most of his life has been pretty shit, not the beginning, not recently, but most of the middle. Derek thinks this is his chance to escape all the shit that has come before.

He knows doesn’t need to be nervous. It’s just a knee-jerk reaction because this a big day, a big moment in his life, anyone would be and can be nervous. But one slow breath later, Derek lets his fingers fall from tie and steps away from the mirror, finding himself infinitely more relaxed. It only likes to torture him with insecurity. He turns his head when the door opens, revealing a rare smiling Boyd holding up a bottle of his favourite whiskey.

Derek smiles back at him, grabbing two glasses from the cupboard next to him, a practised action between the two of them.

“I thought it was time for this, you know, your last drink as a free man, but don’t tell the bride-to-be I said that,” Boyd jokes, pouring out a small amount in each glass.

“You’re lucky my so-called bride-to-be isn’t here to hear that otherwise you’d be getting decked for calling him that,” Derek laughs. “And it wouldn’t matter if he broke his hand for it.”

“Yeah, that definitely sounds like your fiancé.”

Derek just chuckles and takes another sip.

“How you feeling?” Boyd asks, swirling the drink slightly as he goes to sit down on the bed.

“Fine, I suppose,” Derek answers, moving to sit down next to his best friend, he’s not entirely sure what reply would be most welcomed or most appropriate, because right now he can’t really figure out the actual emotion he’s feeling. It’s all a mess in his head. But you know what he can identify? That this is the best moment of his life, it doesn’t matter if he can’t discern all the nervousness or the anticipation or happiness, because he knows that this is the beginning of a whole new life for him. Yes, it might still include monsters and mayhem and all that fuckery, but he won’t be alone, which is all he has really wanted over those years.

“Fine is good.” Boyd gives a thoughtful pause, draining the last of the alcohol from his glass before turning to him. “I know we’re not ones to really express a lot of emotion, and I know both of our partners give us shit for it, but Derek, I’m really happy for you,” Boyd tells him. “And I’m proud of you.”

Derek looks at him and it’s one of those times, like so many others, that Derek can’t seem find the right words to say, so he ends up saying nothing. Which gave him his whole stoic, I-could-kill-you-with-a-glance, take-no-shit, asshole look, which was not-so-lovingly led him to be dubbed him “Sourwolf” by none other than his own partner. The look can be useful, but now, when Derek and Boyd and everyone in their pack has gone through so much and deserves so much and grown so much, Derek works on not maintaining the asshole persona.

“Thank you, Boyd.” Derek knows Boyd knows that he means for more than just what he has said. It’s a thank you for everything Boyd has done for him over the years, like remain by his side. It still surprises him sometimes that Boyd decided to stick by him after all the shit. Derek was a shitty alpha, he understands that, he knows he would have gotten better and if he had actually been pre-prepared for it by his parents, maybe things would have been different, but in the end, he became the alpha during a terrible time and he took it out on his betas. Thankfully, they all forgave him, and though Scott may be the alpha now, and an excellent one at that, the relationship between Derek and his previous betas has only improved as time has gone on. And to Derek, it’s one of the best things in the world, because it gave him Boyd as a best friend, Isaac as a confidant, Erica as a companion and even Jackson as a trusted packmate.

Overall, Derek feels like his life is too good to be true right now. But he doesn’t want to think like that, its easy to fall back into his downward spiral of “Sourwolf-ness”, which would just piss everyone off, including himself. 

“Alright, you have ten minutes before you need to get your ass out there or your husband-to-be will destroy us all,” Boyd tells him with a grin and a friendly slap on the shoulder. Derek salutes and watches him leave. 

Taking a deep breath, Derek stands, moves the two glasses back onto the countertop of the cupboard and fixing the rumples in his suit. He twists his engagement ring around his finger, he wasn’t entirely sure about it in the beginning but with some gentle persuasion from his fiancé, Derek was more than willing to put on the ring and now has grown so accustomed to it that he never wants to take it off. 

The process of a buying the rings was quite something, just because they both got so overwhelmed by all the options, but thankfully, Scott had married Allison just a year before and had some recommendations for good places to buy rings. Both of them decided on silver rings, kind of a fuck you in the face of traditional werewolf lore stating that silver is dangerous werewolves, which is in fact bullshit. You can guess which one of them came up with that notion. 

Derek takes one last look at himself, feeling very satisfied and more excited than ever to go get married. Still feels kind of crazy to think of the concept of getting married. Many of the pack members had gotten married over the years, but this time its him, which just seems insane. 

He starts working his way down the hall to the garden of their house where he is supposed to get married. Derek had re-built the old Hale house, not where it once stood, not the same design, but a new, purposeful pack hideaway where they could safe and comforted. Therefore, when it came to a location for the wedding, a better one could most definitely not be found in Derek’s eyes. However, before he can, he’s pulled into the alcove between the stairs and the kitchen. His eyes are immediately covered so all he can see are a few sprinkles of light, but being a werewolf, he knows its Stiles before one word is ever uttered from him. 

“Guess who?” the not-so-secret voice asks him. 

Derek chuckles, “Mm, I have no idea. It’s not like I have werewolf senses and could smell my partner from miles off. No, that would be ridiculous.” 

Stiles slaps his shoulder. “Hey, don’t ruin the mystery. I could be anyone,” he says with a maniacal laugh. 

“Yeah, but you’re not.” 

Derek hears a heavy sigh coming from his partner. “There is just no tricking you is there. I’ll work on it.” 

Derek sighs fondly. “Also, is there a reason that you’re still covering my eyes, despite me knowing it’s you?” 

“Yes, idiot. It’s bad luck to see each other before the wedding,” Stiles tells him like he’s the biggest dumbass in the world. 

Derek rolls his eyes in his mind, but then it occurs to him, “So, does that make you the beautiful bride?”

Stiles’ heart rate stutters, obviously realising his mistake. “Don’t ever say that again, or I’ll set my dad on you.” 

To Derek, that is probably the most dangerous threat he’s ever been given. Derek and the Sheriff have gotten a lot closer over the years, and whilst Derek would now call them friends with the standing burger and fries rendezvous at Em’s Diner they have on Tuesdays (but that’s a secret between the two of them because if Stiles caught a whiff of any saturated fat near his father, there would be fallout that is just not worth experiencing) it doesn’t mean that Derek isn’t still terrified of the man on some level. 

“Alright, alright.” Derek holds his hands up in surrender. “My blushing bride.” 

That earned him another slap, harder than the last. “That’s it, my dad will destroy you.” 

“Sorry, couldn’t resist.” 

“Sometimes, I think teaching you the wonderful world of humour was a bad idea,” Stiles says mournfully. “But, I’m proud that I can mock you without fear of getting my throat ripped out with your teeth.” 

“Yeah, nowadays, there are other things I’d rather be doing to you with my teeth,” Derek whispers, moving to grip Stiles’ ear lobe between his teeth, revelling in the shiver he feels zip down Stiles’ back. 

“Yeah, I’d much rather you’d do those things too,” Stiles whispers back, moving his head to capture Derek’s lips in a soft kiss. 

“Okay, guess I’ll see you in a few minutes.” One final kiss later, Derek is finally allowed to see again, and Stiles is gone. 

Derek, chuckling to himself, wanders outside. Boyd is waiting outside on the back porch for him, with Stiles and Scott both waiting at the start of the aisle, Scott sends him a smile, whilst Stiles sticks his tongue out at him. 

Rolling his eyes, Derek reaches for Stiles and is welcomed with open arms, so with joined hands they start walking down the aisle, Boyd and Scott trailing behind. Every seat is filled, which fills Derek with happiness and something akin to pride, proud that he made it this far, proud that he still has the capacity for growth and through that, the capacity for love and friendship. It’s more than he could have wished for. The fire ruined so much, but he made it through, more than a little fucked up, but living, which more than he ever thought he would get. 

Lydia is waiting for them when they reach the end of the aisle. Stiles and Derek have both come to rely upon Lydia a lot as a friend over the years, so when the time came, they couldn’t think of anyone better to marry them. She looks beautiful in a sweeping, silver dress, stood in front of the garden arch sewn with lilies, serving to enchant the beauty of the place more. 

She gives them both a quick wink before going forward with the typical wedding rigamarole, just adding a few fun anecdotes specific to them, like the time Stiles killed manticore and somehow managed to get Derek covered in its guts, he was not impressed, or the time, Derek was feeling extremely romantic for their third anniversary and filled the forest surrounding their house with fairy lights and made a picnic with all his favourite foods. 

It's fun and its light and its thoughtful and its everything that makes the two of them _them_ , so by the time Lydia makes it to the vows, Derek almost thinks they don't matter so much because she managed to capture them so well in every other part of her speech. 

Stiles’ speech is beautiful, and funny, and makes Derek scoff more than a few times because he knows just how to annoy Derek even on their wedding day. But Derek couldn’t be more grateful for him, for everything that he is. “So, in conclusion, Derek, you are kind of a fucking asshole,” everyone sitting watching laughs out loud as does Derek, “but I couldn’t imagine my life without you. In your life, you’ve been handed so much shit, but you’ve come out stronger and I couldn’t be prouder of you. You teach me so much, about life, about you, about me, and my only wish is that I could thank your parents for creating the wonderful man in front of me, but you know what? I’m sure they know. They know how far you’ve come, and they couldn’t be more honoured that they had you for their son.” Stiles takes a shaky breath, wiping at eyes that have become significantly waterier. “I love you, Derek Hale.” 

Derek is speechless, unable to think of forming a coherent sentence. He just wants to fucking kiss Stiles right there and then. But, finally, he manages to get a grasp on his brain and ever so eloquently his first word is: “Fuck.” 

Everyone laughs so loudly, it kind of hurts his werewolf hearing. He thinks he even hears Liam whooping in the background. 

“Sorry, but fucking hell, how am I supposed to top that?” More laughter. Stiles grins at him, whilst still wiping away tears that never want to stop falling. 

Derek tries his best, but he’s a bit overwhelmed and has to stop and start through the first few sentences. Nobody minds, especially not Stiles, whom simply places a hand on his cheek, silently telling him its alright. “Everyone knows what a crappy person I am, or at least I used to be, but our pack has helped so much, and more than anything you have. I didn’t think myself worthy of anything after the fire, but you gave me another chance, another way to live my life, which makes me feel like the luckiest person alive. Stiles, you’re beautiful and hilarious and caring and frustrating and wonderful and far too self-sacrificing, but you’re also everything I have ever wanted in a partner. I love you, Stiles Stilinski.” 

At long last, the most important question is asked: “Derek, do take Stiles to be your husband for now and forever?”, the entire world seems to slow around them. 

Derek feels near bursting and he couldn’t be happier about it. “I do.” 

“Stiles, do you take Derek to be your husband now and forever?” 

Stiles smiles at him, squeezing their hands together. “I do.” 

“Alright then, for the moment we’ve all been waiting for, Derek, Stiles, you may kiss your husband.” 

Derek does just that, immediately swooping to capture Stiles’ lips with his own. Eyes squeezed shut, Derek is so lost in his happiness, he doesn’t notice it. He doesn’t feel it. But as they break apart, he not only feels it, he sees it. 

Blood. 

Stiles’ blood. 

Confusion, fear and worry setting in, he hears Stiles speak, “Derek? Why do you have blood on your face?” 

Then it seems to dawn on him, he reaches up to touch his nose that is now dripping blood all over the bottom of his face, staining his once pristine suit. 

Derek doesn’t understand, it doesn’t make sense, he can’t hear, he can’t see, he can’t feel, it’s as if the world has been replaced with white noise, as if there has never been any life grown, as if the world was one endless expansive desert. There is suddenly no Lydia, no wedding guests, no forest, just Stiles and his blood. 

Derek goes to touch his husband when he abruptly begins coughing, but it’s no regular cough, its wet and messy because its blood, and its splatters over Derek’s face and neck, over Stiles’ clothes, marking the ground red. 

At first, time was slow, now it moves fast, so fast even a werewolf with extraordinary abilities cannot register each individual moment. He knows Stiles couldn’t stop coughing, he knows there were tears streaming down both their faces as they stared back at each other, eyes so fearful, he knows he started screaming for someone to help, he knows he caught Stiles in his arms when he fell, blood still pouring, like the body couldn’t hold onto it anymore, like it was poison. 

The next moments are the worst of Derek’s life. 

He sees Stiles struggling for breath, but still gasping for a final chance to say something, he thinks he hears his name. He sees the blood begin to coat his own hands as he grips Stiles face between them and presses their foreheads together. He sees one last tear fall from Stiles’ eyes. 

He hears commotion, not well, but he knows it’s there, he hears a thousand voices, he hears someone scream. Was it Derek’s scream? Is he screaming? Is he still screaming? He doesn’t even know anymore. 

He hears Stiles’ last breath. 

He feels the clutch of Stiles’ hand on his clothes loosening. He feels something break so deep and powerful inside, it sends shockwave after shockwave rocketing through his body. He feels the last puff of air leave Stiles' lungs and land on Derek’s face. 

And then, Derek feels nothing. 

And nothing. 

And nothing. 

And then, everything. 

To answer the question, yes, it was Derek screaming, and yes, he is still screaming. 


End file.
